Let’s talk about something that strikes FEAR in roughly 90% (totally made up) of people…
That moment when you go to take a photo but the camera is on “selfie” mode and you are met with whatever amazingly awkward face you make when trying to take a photo. And if the intended object of the photo is your child (two or four legged), multiply the look of frustration and anxiety and add in extra gray hair for toddlers and teenagers. “One second kids, hold still while I open the camera app, AHHHH, who let Sloth from the Goonies in here?!”
I think that this is a trick that “unnamed major phone manufacturers” use and secretly monitor. There is probably a wall or a website for employees only of “unnamed major phone manufacturer” where they auto post to. Oh the LOL’s they must have at the expense of us normal folks. Perhaps I need to up my anxiety meds and consult my doctor about paranoia?
Really though, want to really see that double chin you have? This is the way. Think those hours at the gym and all those salads are paying off, nope. Nopity nope nope. Perhaps you are a pregnant stay at home mom and you showered and have on makeup and are feeling pretty okay about things. BAM, hello wrinkles and adult acne, wow so pale too! Maybe that’s just me.
Let’s also talk about the other 20% (again, statistic is totally made up and I can’t remember what I said before). These are the people that see this unexpected selfie view and think, “Hey there hot stuff, lookin good.” I envision them doing the finger gun Shooter McGavin thing too. You know this person. We all know them. We love hate them. Bless their hearts. :::eye roll::: You might be pretty on the outside but ugly in your heart and ugly is forever people. I kid, Jesus can help with the ugly inside.
If you have never experienced this fear I speak of I know how you can re-create the look. Set your phone on selfie mode and then try to open a pickle jar. Or any jar, but if it’s pickles I will help you eat them (unless it’s bread and butter style, gross, have you no taste?!?) I digress…
It’s not pretty. If you don’t laugh till you cry at the pure ridiculousness of your expression we probably can’t be friends. Especially if you eat bread and butter pickles, ew.